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One of my kids does not listen. Fearful i'm raising a disrespectful kid

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  • WhatsOnYourMBW Offline
    WhatsOnYourMBW Offline
    WhatsOnYourMB MomBrain
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    One of my kids does not listen. It's embarrassing and I have no idea what to do. Do I hire a parenting coach? do i put him on adhd medication? I'm worried about the road we're heading down. He's a good kid with kind heart, just will not listen. 8yrs old

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    • A Offline
      A Offline
      ADHDMomTX
      replied to WhatsOnYourMB on last edited by
      #2

      @WhatsOnYourMB I just searched ADHD and I came across this post. It sounds like mine. Do you have ADHD? I do, and managing others is not my cup of tea. None of the ADHD motivating factors work for raising children. I am not good at making systems - but they need them. Our Maslow's pyramid is flipped upside down...

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      • Jaime-MomBrainJ Online
        Jaime-MomBrainJ Online
        Jaime-MomBrain MomBrain
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        @Susparenting will have GREAT advice!! she saved us!

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        • S Offline
          S Offline
          SNHOLLI
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          We feel this way about our youngest, and we both read Hunt Gather Parent. It really did help & I was so appreciative of some of the principals & I do think it applies to all ages. Another good resource is Dr. Becky Good Inside. A lot of good content on her website for your sons age.

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          • SustainableMamaS Offline
            SustainableMamaS Offline
            SustainableMama Expert
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            This is SUCH a great topic to be bringing up - thank you for asking. So - there are a few reasons kids don't listen, so I don't wanna oversimplify here - but I'll share a few quick things to consider, for starters:

            1. Are you using a lot of "telling" instead of asking? Check out this video about curiosity questions, to see what I mean (and it's not about saying "Can you please...?") : https://www.youtube.com/live/KnjAk0Df1V8?si=6Tv0ZDWga9c9EZOn

            2. Are you taking time to connect before you correct? https://youtu.be/rkjz98LgeA8?si=AuNGOvkZy-szxiyl

            3. Are you seeking ways to empower your child to be able to do things without you telling them. ie. Do they have a bedtime or morning routine chart, or their own list of what to pack to get out the door, or a picture in the mudroom of the 4 things to take out the door (ie. lunch, coat, boots, backpack)? If you wanna chat more - feel free to comment here and we can.:)

            Helping parents become Sustainable Parents:
            filling the gap between gentle parenting and harsh discipline, so you can parent with kindness and firmness at the SAME time, and parenting finally feels sustainable.

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